For My Grandma

My grandma, Frances Dziak, passed away July 13th. I had the privilege of speaking at her funeral, and many friends and family have asked what I said. Here it is:

I woke up this morning and had a cup of coffee. The mug white with silver trim, one of many from the dinner set you gave me months ago. I set it on the glass table with the lamp attached that sat next to your chair in your living room, that held your own coffee for so many years. Your Elvis record plays softly, and I peak into my bedroom to see my dog sleeping soundly on the bed you once slept in.

My home is full of your things. Things you gave me years ago, and things you gave away to all of us just a few months ago when you sold your home. The one that raised your 8 children. The one that raised my father.

We all have pieces of you in our homes. But, much more than these things, you gave us memories. You gave us love. You gave us understanding. I hold these objects, these ‘things’ that have no value and aren’t extraordinary to the average eye. But they were your things, and for that they are so much more significant. I wonder how many dinners you enjoyed with this big family on those very plates. I wonder how you felt listening to these records. I wonder how many restful nights you had in that bed.

You loved one man with all your heart, a man I was blessed to call my grandfather. A man we all still miss today. You loved your children and raised them all to have beautiful families of their own. These families I call cousins, uncles, aunts. Through this caring, though sometimes crazy, family that you and grandpa built, I knew love. A love that lives on past this life and into the next.

I’m sure right now, you’re looking down while grandpa holds your hand. And I know you’re happy to see Uncle Denny and your brother Dale again. Because, let’s face it, this world just isn’t big enough for a family as large as the Dziak’s.

You taught us many lessons about life.

You taught me, “Never say you hate someone. It’s too strong of a word.”

“It’s okay to be different.”

“Enjoy music. Enjoy conversation. Enjoy your life, it’s the only one you got.”

“Be proud of yourself.”

I could talk to you about anything: relationships, school, work. You were so much more than a grandmother- you were my friend.

It’s a strange feeling now, to have my heart feel both so full and so empty at the same time.

As I grow older, many of these things will break or be lost or be changed. But the connection we all have with you can never be broken. You will always be at our side.