My grandma, Frances Dziak, passed away July 13th. I had the privilege of speaking at her funeral, and many friends and family have asked what I said. Here it is:
I woke up this morning and had
a cup of coffee. The mug white with silver trim, one of many from the dinner
set you gave me months ago. I set it on the glass table with the lamp attached
that sat next to your chair in your living room, that held your own coffee for
so many years. Your Elvis record plays softly, and I peak into my bedroom to
see my dog sleeping soundly on the bed you once slept in.
My home is full of your
things. Things you gave me years ago, and things you gave away to all of us
just a few months ago when you sold your home. The one that raised your 8
children. The one that raised my father.
We all have pieces of you in
our homes. But, much more than these things, you gave us memories. You gave us
love. You gave us understanding. I hold these objects, these ‘things’ that have
no value and aren’t extraordinary to the average eye. But they were your
things, and for that they are so much more significant. I wonder how many
dinners you enjoyed with this big family on those very plates. I wonder how you
felt listening to these records. I wonder how many restful nights you had in
that bed.
You loved one man with all
your heart, a man I was blessed to call my grandfather. A man we all still miss
today. You loved your children and raised them all to have beautiful families
of their own. These families I call cousins, uncles, aunts. Through this
caring, though sometimes crazy, family that you and grandpa built, I knew love.
A love that lives on past this life and into the next.
I’m sure right now, you’re
looking down while grandpa holds your hand. And I know you’re happy to see
Uncle Denny and your brother Dale again. Because, let’s face it, this world
just isn’t big enough for a family as large as the Dziak’s.
You taught us many lessons
about life.
You taught me, “Never say you
hate someone. It’s too strong of a word.”
“It’s okay to be different.”
“Enjoy music. Enjoy conversation.
Enjoy your life, it’s the only one you got.”
“Be proud of yourself.”
I could talk to you about
anything: relationships, school, work. You were so much more than a
grandmother- you were my friend.
It’s a strange feeling now, to
have my heart feel both so full and so empty at the same time.
As I grow older, many of these
things will break or be lost or be changed. But the connection we all have with
you can never be broken. You will always be at our side.
